Who Rides A Segway Near A Cliff?

You can’t make this shit up. Really.

(via @Kankaleen..how apropos)

Apparently the company’s owner, Jimi Heselden does, and unfortunately met his demise as he fell off a cliff while riding his very own Segway. Not to make light of someone dying but, who the fuck rides a Segway near a fucking cliff???  I can’t count how many times I’ve seen people fall off of these two wheeled gyroscope vehicles, and yes I laughed. The last time I saw someone fall off was during a walk around the Washington Mall and one of these fools zoomed passed my friend and I. We wondered why he was ahead of his pack of Segway tour, but we figured he was just trying to show off. A few seconds later, he hit a bump on the sidewalk and went flying. He laid there for a few seconds and then hopped back up. We laughed after we saw that he was ok.

Unfortunately for Jimi Heselden, you just can’t hop up once you’ve fallen off a cliff.

Let this be a lesson to all of those Segway drivers. Stay away from cliffs. Better yet, stay off of Segways, because you look pretty stupid anyways, lazy asses.

  24 comments for “Who Rides A Segway Near A Cliff?

  1. tagesgeld
    October 22, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    Hey very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds
    also…

  2. October 11, 2010 at 10:21 am

    I hate to hear that the man has died, but you could be a little more sympathy

    • October 11, 2010 at 10:41 am

      Oh lord…spare me..it’s my blog..I could be what I want to be.

      • October 11, 2010 at 11:20 am

        I know whos blog it is, I only asked a question :)

    • October 11, 2010 at 10:48 am

      Wait, I meant to say have a little more sympathy

  3. September 29, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    Well……..he don’t do it anymore.

  4. September 28, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    Oh heck naw! This is one of the funniest pieces I have read in a while but you are speaking truth. When I first heard the story, I swear I thought the same thing. Why in blue blazes would you be riding this thing near a cliff? I know I am a bad person because I can’t help but laughing…truth is stranger than fiction.

    • September 29, 2010 at 9:50 am

      All it takes is one pebble/rock to flip a segway over…I guess he wasn’t briefed on that.

  5. September 28, 2010 at 12:35 am

    I thought he musta killed himself ?
    I just saw that story on MSN 2 minutes ago.

    I think this poor fool or genius…(if he was trying to go out in style he sure did that well) was a new owner of Segway 10 months ago. I think the creator from 1999 is still alive and spending his loot? Unless my A.D.H.D crippled me….again!

    • September 29, 2010 at 9:49 am

      A relative of mine said she felt it was probably suicide too…

  6. Jason W.
    September 27, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    Cracking the fuck up!
    RIP!

  7. September 27, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    That’s awful and way too ironic. One more reason to keep my big azz off one. I’ve always imagined sailing over the handle bars while one my shoes is flung in the other direction, the visual is painful enough….smh

  8. September 27, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    The jokes write themselves with this story.

  9. September 27, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    You know the worst part about this post. Is its TRUE!!!

    GOT DAYUUUM!!! The only reason I’m not laughing is because someone died (the creator of the segway no less). But in place of my laughing I will say. What asshole rides a S—–… never mind. Smh

    [walking away]

  10. September 27, 2010 at 10:20 am

    WOW, i had no clue that was how he died……*please don’t snicker, please don’t chuckle, please don’t laugh* RIP mr. owner

  11. September 27, 2010 at 9:34 am

    I hate Segways. They are worse than those shoes with the little wheels placed in the soles.

    • September 27, 2010 at 10:17 am

      Heeleys!!

      My son had a pair of those! I hated them. I hated seeing parents just disregard signs in the grocery stories that said “no heeleys” allowed. thankfully it seems like that fad has died down in my area.

  12. TC
    September 27, 2010 at 9:03 am

    I promise you I want to throw a stick every single time one of those freakin tours passes me on a DC street…BIG DADDY their butts and yell “down goes Frasier” as they fall

    bitter much? yes clearly I am…

    CLASSIC

  13. Margaret
    September 27, 2010 at 7:49 am

    Wow! I guess I won’t continue to work on my inventions…the Segway sidecar and the Segway wagon.

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