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Yesha Callahan
|
television writer | new media| editor
Yesha Callahan
|
television writer | new media| editor

Men Who Think Their Sh*t Doesn't Stink

March  2009 / 30 16 Comments
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garbage_barge

Dear Men Who Think Their Sh*t Doesn’t Stink:

Let me be first to say it does. It can smell as bad as a NYC garbage barge floating down the Hudson River on a 95 degree summer day! So Steve Harvey writes a book about relationships (yeah, I’m not finished with him yet), and now men every where are yelling at the top of their lungs about how they’re the most simplest creatures around, blah blah blah and that they’ve been saying these things Steve has written about FOREVER. Well damn, if that’s the case, will someone tell me why are there so many single men & women out there.

I’ll just pause and wait for an answer.

(insert the sounds of crickets chirping)

I think I have a simple answer.

Some men are simple minded and  simply full of shit and greed.

Even Steve Harvey was probably once in that category as well, considering he cheated on his 2nd wife with his current wife. Before people jump down my throat and call me a man basher, the operative word is SOME and I can only speak on my experiences (god forbid someone starts to think I’m actually giving relationship advice). Just last week, I explained my definition of women who suffer from what I like to refer to as “Helen Keller Syndrome“, so needless to say, I think I fairly cover both bases when it comes to men & women.

The “some” equals those men who continually talk about how they can’t find a good woman, someone to support them and have their back 24/7, but when they find that woman, the one who’d stick with them through thick & thin, their ‘ride or die’ chick, their greed gets the best of them.

Greed, in my opinion, is what leads men to cheat. It’s the whole ‘grass is greener’ phenomenon. Some men are never satisfied with what they have, so they look elsewhere. Of course the grass is greener, when it’s being fertilized with bullshit. What I find even more hilarious are the double standards that some men continually reinforce. I forgot what rapper said they wanted a “lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets”, but god forbid a woman professes her ‘not so ladylike’ side, she is quickly given ‘ho’ status from men.

For example, imagine you were in this scenario:

You have a man & woman, who have been intimate together for a while, but not in a committed relationship. They’re both out together doing some random shopping at Target. The man heads to the prophylactic aisle, and picks up a box of condoms. Now, the woman remembers about two-three weeks before while they were out shopping that he purchased a box then as well and she thinks to herself, “well damn, how many women is he really dealing with?”, considering the both of them only had sex twice between these two shopping excursions. Now considering they’re not in a committed relationship, she didn’t bother to even speak on that subject, but kept in the back of her mind. A few days later, in the middle of a discussion, the guy in question, actually comes out of his face to say that if he knew a woman he was with was having sex with multiple partners, he would automatically put her in  ‘ho’ status and look at her differently.  But yet in still, it’s ok for him to keep buying boxes of condoms and sowing his oats, because he’s a man. GTFOHWTBS!

Now, here we are at the classic double standards that some simple minded men tend to keep. I truly think some men don’t know what they want & don’t know how to give what they want in order to receive what they want. Rest in peace, to the art of reciprocation. Last week I made mention of the chick from DC who was featured on the Oprah episode with Steve Harvey. You know the one who said she’s staying a virgin until she’s married & feels that it’s ok to receive oral sex and not return it. Well, after thinking again about her situation, all I can say is more power to the dirty virgin! Now, what I do find it hard to believe is that the dirty virgin has never performed oral sex on a man. What I choose to believe is that, just possibly she has, and it wasn’t reciprocated, which has helped form the beliefs that she’s presently holding on to. I think when people get tired of not receiving reciprocation, their whole attitude can change, and I think this is what happened to her. So if she’s finding men, who are willing to please her & not look for reciprocation, congratulations to her & her jaws!

It’s funny since living in the MD/DC area, I’ve dated all types of men. Everyone from high-level executives, attorneys, military officers, government, every color of collar there is. I’ve had relationships where I thought everything was going well, until I got the infamous “this just isn’t working” phone call. To the ones where I’ve unknowingly been the other woman and the one time  I had to confront the other woman. I’ll even say this, yeah, I’ve cheated before. Why? Because I was greedy and knew I could get away with it. In all of these situations, I truly think it came down to what a person could get away with and the fact that they were greedy. My grandmother always said, a man’s eyes is always too big for their stomach and I tend to believe that’s true. 

My main problem with some men, is that most of the time, they don’t say what they really want. If you just want sex, let a woman know. Who knows, she may be down for that. Why waste a persons time & lead them on, with promises of a relationship or allude to the fact that is what you want in the long run. If you don’t have the balls to say it in person, shit, send an email, send a text message, who cares how the message is conveyed, just as long as it is been received.

So men, if you want to be labeled as ‘simple’ creatures, here a few simple things that could probably help you out:

A. Simply be honest

B. Simply learn the act of reciprocity

C. Simply say what you want & mean what you say

D. Simply treat a woman the same way you’d want your mother, sister or daughter to be treated.

It’s that simple. When you cut out the bullshit and rigmarole, then maybe one day I’ll truly believe men are ‘simple’ creatures, with simple wants & needs. Until then, I’m just left to believe some are just simple-minded.

 

Sincerely,

Someone who has smelled her fair share of shit.

 

 

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  • I find this rather funny and really true and correct. Women should read this and realized the truth behind this post. I like strong women like you who is not easily be intimidated by “rough” men. At least men should be wary of treating women because not all women are created equal. There are exceptions to the rule and you are one of the exceptions. My salute to your strong attitude.

  • I find this rather funny and really true and correct. Women should read this and realized the truth behind this post. I like strong women like you who is not easily be intimidated by “rough” men. At least men should be wary of treating women because not all women are created equal. There are exceptions to the rule and you are one of the exceptions. My salute to your strong attitude.

  • LMAO @ your “dirty virgin” comment. But truth be told she can't expect to be considered as pure as a virgin who hasn't engaged in any kind of sexual activity. && I agree with you. I highly doubt she has never touched a penis. Either her hand, her mouth, or both has to have gone there. I don't care how fly she is (I haven't see her but I'm assuming she bad), but not many guys are gonna do that consistently for NOTHING in return. She has to be giving them something. Unless it's some old horny loser. lol.

    && I agree, men need to stop buggin. I mean I know we're sensitive but I'd rather know from the getgo what's up then waste months or even years with a guy to later find out that he never really wanted to be with me in the long-run. Girls don't do that ish. I have never heard a girl tell a guy she's head over heels with him when she really has no interest in him. I think a lot of guys are bad liars though and some girls just let them get away with their shit when the whole world can smell it.

  • Let’s just say that I’m glad I’m not one of those men – lol

  • I didn’t catch the Harvey interview, but everything I’ve read about it makes me completely nauseated. I’m sorry that a divorced comedian doesn’t think I have anything to offer a man beyond my vagina, er, “cookie”, but that’s his problem, not mine. Also, I strenuously object to the notion that every woman is dead set on marrying the man she’s dating. They say a man will never buy the cow if he’s getting the milk for free… but what if the cow isn’t for sale? Ponder that.

    Steve Harvey wishes you weren’t such a slut

  • From the mountain tops she speaks.

    One of my favorite lines:
    “Some men are simple minded and simply full of shit and greed”

    Another good one :)

  • My thing is us women a unit have to stop accepting subpar treatment. Certain women make it harder for the rest of us bc men start to think certain behaviors are acceptable. Even though in my my past i was on some hoshit, I have seen the err of my past, and things like FWB and jump-offs have sullied the dating game, and that is part of the shit we are smelling too….

    • You are 150% correct! We’ve all been at fault (some still at fault) for all types of hotshit behaviour. I wrote about ppl accepting “bs behaviour” previously as well! Nothing can change until ppl stop accepting the actions of others.

  • Let me just say that I love your blog it’s simply and funny. Anyway I agree with you that men seem to think that women are stupid and can’t see when they are trying to pull game on them. I love to hear them talk about how simple they are and its women with all these issues. Then they love to pick the chick with all the drama and complain about it. I’ve learned to smell bullshit a mile away now so when a guy approaches me I already know how far I’ll let them take it. Plus I rate men base on a honesty meter so for me a black men is more likely to lie to me than any other race of men and its been provide true for me . I know its wrong but whenever a black guy approaches me, I’m more than likely to think he is lying about what he is telling regarding relationships status, career and if he has any kids or not because 9 out of 10 guys I’ve talk to lied about having a child or whether they single, married or just have a FWB on the side. My friends say I judge black men to much but for me I’m not willing to put with any lie because if you allow a person to lie about things like that once you’re in a relationship who knows what they’ll keep from you.

    • I judge men equally regardless of their race. I’ve dated black men who have lied, white men who have lied & hispanic men who have lied…All men have the propensity to be liars. Some choose to go that route others do not. As with everything in life, there are no absolutes. I’m sure there are tons of honest black men out there as well, some of my friends happen to be married to them.

  • How have I not ever been to your blog before? Do I just not get up early in the morning.

    Let me be the first to say BRAVO. Then I’m gonna say something controversial, prefacing it with the fact that I am in full….

    FULLL FUCKING AGREEMENT

    with all that you have said, right down to the word SOME not all in reference to the black man.

    Here’s my controversial piece. I know after some hard self reflection that it’s true of me, that I struggled with it, and that once I came to embrace it as truth, I started getting treated much better by men.

    –> We women at some point, accept much worse than we deserve and THAT is how we get caught in these bad relationships. For some of us it takes one bad experience to ex-communicate the one type of man, for some it takes dozens.

    It boils down to us being encouraged to believe in scarcity (no good black men, no black men period, take what you can get, we’re getting to old to be picky in finding a lifemate, you can’t get a good lover so if you find a man that’s good at sex, hold on to him at all costs, that sort of garbage), and men being raised to believe in abundance (you have plenty of time, *some* women are a dime a dozen, date a lot just to find out what you like and don’t like, you have a biological need to spread your seed, it’s natural, you can get an orgasm anytime, alone or not)

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