dumbass of the week randomness

Who Rides A Segway Near A Cliff?


You can’t make this shit up. Really.

(via @Kankaleen..how apropos)

Apparently the company’s owner, Jimi Heselden does, and unfortunately met his demise as he fell off a cliff while riding his very own Segway. Not to make light of someone dying but, who the fuck rides a Segway near a fucking cliff???  I can’t count how many times I’ve seen people fall off of these two wheeled gyroscope vehicles, and yes I laughed. The last time I saw someone fall off was during a walk around the Washington Mall and one of these fools zoomed passed my friend and I. We wondered why he was ahead of his pack of Segway tour, but we figured he was just trying to show off. A few seconds later, he hit a bump on the sidewalk and went flying. He laid there for a few seconds and then hopped back up. We laughed after we saw that he was ok.

Unfortunately for Jimi Heselden, you just can’t hop up once you’ve fallen off a cliff.

Let this be a lesson to all of those Segway drivers. Stay away from cliffs. Better yet, stay off of Segways, because you look pretty stupid anyways, lazy asses.


  1. I promise you I want to throw a stick every single time one of those freakin tours passes me on a DC street…BIG DADDY their butts and yell “down goes Frasier” as they fall
    bitter much? yes clearly I am…

  2. You know the worst part about this post. Is its TRUE!!!
    GOT DAYUUUM!!! The only reason I’m not laughing is because someone died (the creator of the segway no less). But in place of my laughing I will say. What asshole rides a S—–… never mind. Smh
    [walking away]

  3. That’s awful and way too ironic. One more reason to keep my big azz off one. I’ve always imagined sailing over the handle bars while one my shoes is flung in the other direction, the visual is painful enough….smh

  4. I thought he musta killed himself ?
    I just saw that story on MSN 2 minutes ago.
    I think this poor fool or genius…(if he was trying to go out in style he sure did that well) was a new owner of Segway 10 months ago. I think the creator from 1999 is still alive and spending his loot? Unless my A.D.H.D crippled me….again!

  5. Oh heck naw! This is one of the funniest pieces I have read in a while but you are speaking truth. When I first heard the story, I swear I thought the same thing. Why in blue blazes would you be riding this thing near a cliff? I know I am a bad person because I can’t help but laughing…truth is stranger than fiction.

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